PUBLICATION: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
AVERAGE RATING: 3.67
Because when you "like" your own Facebook status it's like when you're having sex and you slap your own ass.
A lot of girls like a guy who is a bad-ass. That’s why my conversations with women go like this:
GIRL: I like a man of danger.
ME: Come back to my place and we'll open the .exe attachments in my email!
Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Picture, you REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job and pose in front of your cubicle.
Dear Guy at the Dance Club, Please stop grinding random girls from behind like you are some kind of creepy penis-shaped bulldozer.
They say you can get a girl to like you, if you can make her jealous. So I make sure the girl sees me with a pretty expensive handbag!
Girls like when you tell them about the adorable things that children do. For instance, like when my little nephew asked me, "When babies are in the tummy do they use mommy's belly button as a window?"
Thank God he didn't ask what they use as a door!